25th March 2004
BETRAYED
For the longest time, i have always thought that, no matter what happens, i can rely on my best friend of so many years to support me, to be there to fight hand in hand with me in the event of any eventualities. However, i was sadly mistaken. I found out that he has been complaining that he was doing all the work, and i was only sitting in the office "doing nothing". I confronted him and indeed, he admitted that he has been complaining about his work load, expecting that i should automatically take his job away from him. It has come to a stage where the big boss himself is considering to dock my pay and increase his. Ultimately, it's not about the pay. I am happy for him that he has gained regonition for his work. However, i do not agree with the way he went about getting that regonition, by killing his best friend in the process.
I have tendered in my resignation to the company. Now, i am back to where i am, nothing to my name. Strangely, it feels like a big load has been lifted up my shoulders. i no longer have to live a lie in the office, assuming an identity that was not mine in the first place.
from the things that have happend, i have erred to even my friends. I have said things that i should not have said, remarks that i should not have passed. The truth is, i didn't know HOW to manage the problems and the shocking revelation i had at work, the betrayal from even my best friend. Hence, i blurted out all things that have either hurt me in a way or another in a chat room. As an effect of that, i have hurt the feelings of one individual in the chat room. Things happen for a reason, and the consequences are, most of the times, unseen. I apologised to the person involved, but it was rejected. I dun blame him. Certian things needs time to forgive. This matter is no exception. I am not someone who goes out and hurt people willingly. But if there are times when i DO, well... i can only say sorry. This is really all i can do. i have no power to erase the events that happened, nor can i undo what has been said or done. Again, i am truely sorry if i have been insensitive towards the person in question, please know that it was unintentional and i am truely apologetic.
If, however, you choose not to forgive, then i will accept your choice and i will live with the consequence of my actions.
Angel-x
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