Friday 30th DEC 05 11:11am
The year 2005 will end in just alittle less then 48 hours time. And what has my life this past year got to show for it? Actually, quite alot. I have gained, i have lost. But then again it's not point crying over spilt milk. At least this year's end, i have made some effort NOT to be alone anymore. I will be spending the New Years' Eve with my Ship's crew. Admiral EMH and the gang. Sometimes, we just have to see opportunities and grab it when it comes our way. The only thing i really think i have gained this year is my Aikido.
Ever since i took up Aikido in late 2004, i have had a sense of belonging. I finally have something to look forward to. It also made me a more calm person. Soon enough, i was appointed as Assistant Leader of my Dojo. It really feels great to be able to help my fellow Aikidokas. My Dojo, i am proud to say, is the most lively and warm Dojo in the EAST. I have made good friends there. I even managed to get BoonYong to join us. And i am happy to say that at least, he himself is beginning to see how good Aikido is, whether it be a form of Martial Arts or Sport. However, come 2006, i think that i will have to stop Aikido. Simply because i am too broke to pay my fees. And, i may not be around too long to practice my Aikido anyway. Well..... last night's training was GOOD. We have these new commers and they were SOOOOO Difficult to teach!!!! Only the new 12 year old boy Matthew shows some potential. If he keeps it up, he may even be faster to get his grade then BoonYong. But BoonYong is brought in by me..... if he cannot make it, then i will be very Pai Sei right? so i will do my best to train him up. He is already trying to slam himself. Silly boy. Can't even break fall properly wanna slam.... wait injure himself. Then he will blame ME..... Aiyoh.
I only hope that 2006 will be a better year for me. My relationship with my mother is beyond repair. I really cannot depend on her or trust her words. She will tell me something and then do another thing totally different. One of these days, i will die under her hand. Instead of relying on people, might as well take my chances outside myself. I may have to give up my studies AGAIN. Because how can i concentrate on studying if i have to worry about paying the bills and do the housework, then study at the same time? Impossible.
That is just one drawback of staying alone. In all trueness, you ARE alone in whatever you do. So, i'll just have to find a way to survive.
Dun worry about me people. I'am a fighter. I'll fight till my last breath. And the fact that i have the true and unadulterated love of my real father, is the motivation for me to move on with my life.
2006. HERE I COME.
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