Sunday 15th JAN 06 12:00 Midnite
WHEN AGAPE FAILS.
During the weekend, had the company of Jerald, Jay, Amous, Dennison and Wilson. Went to Katong to have a game of WARCRAFT 3. Played the WHOLE Day through. Ended up have to spend like SGD$12.20 for the game. After the gaming, we went to have dinner at Katong Laksa. Wow, i tell you, it's good. REALLY GOOD. Anyway we talked alot about stuff and talked all the way until about 11pm at Marine Parade McDonalds. It was there that i finally got to know both Jerald and Jay better. And made a new friend Dennison. Very unique name right? LOL first time i heard of this name.
Apparently, Jay's dad always use foul language on him. Even to the extend of lambasting him in front of his friends. Now tell me, how does a person react in this kind of situations? Personally, i would feel very sad and hurt that even my OWN parent would verbally abuse me like it's nothing. Most importantly, i won't even dare to invite my friends over to my place again. Now, i have no answer as to why Jay's dad would do such a thing to him. I mean, which parent would not love his/her own flesh and blood? Jay still tried to defend his dad, saying that as least with all the shouting and abuses, he feels that at least his dad cares about him.
Perhaps. But surely there are better ways of showing one cares for another. Does it HAVE to be hitting the person and even verbally abusing him/her? And one's OWN child no less?
For Jerald, He has totally given up on his family. He does not even LOVE his parents anymore. Or, at least that is what he wants us to believe. I sensed alot of bottled up fustrations inside him that is just screaming for an outlet to be released from. And he is not really ready to share with me yet. Perhaps i'am still a stranger to him?
When i heard both their stories, i was reminded of my own past. How i myself had had to struggle with my own identity and love and understanding from my own parents. At least Jeralds' parents are making an effort to make up for lost time, so to speak. But he would have NONE of it. He totally pukes at the thought of his parents and him having a good quality "family" time together.
Such is the damage one can do to a child if you do not plan your family properly. And Love your child with sincerity. You make your OWN child lose even that close connection love for you as a parent, would you BE a successful parent then?
Of course, with any other conversations with my Juniors, BoonYong's name will always pop out of nowhere. Bear in mind, i am not bitching about him. I am just curious as to what else has he been talking about me to his friends in school. Apparently he said quite alot.
After our "sit-down-talk", The next day BoonYong just treated like as if NOTHING has happened. NOT EVEN A WORD OF SORRY.
I guess i should not have expected too much from him either. Seeing as how he could backstabb me even when i have done so many thing for him.
I have said this before. Yes, i DO love BoonYong. But i also know that he is straight and that he will NEVER be able to love me back the same way i love him now. But i still love him all the same.
I am So Stupid right?
Well..... so long as he can call me just a word of "Kor" and MEAN it, Then i will consider myself paid back in full.
And i am TOOO tired to continue writting my blor. So Let me go sleep first and i will tell you more details after i wake up tomolo.
Depending on what time i should wake up.
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