Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Tuesday 10th JAN 06 10:44pm


Much has happened since the last entry. A few major things happening. Firstly, my new term in my Law Course, a family issue, my own house and last but not least, the issue i have with BoonYong.

My new term with my Law course started early this week. I have been transfered to SIC (Singapore Institute of Commerce) to take up my new term. I'am not complaining. At least now, i have a direct bus to my school and the school at least has a full Law Library for us student to do research and reference from. The school is located near Clark Quay. More updates to follow.

My mother went away on a vacation to Hong Kong with my step father during the weekend. She invited me over to see the new house during her absence. So i went. Indeed, it is HUGE. Basically, the new house has a full length dance room, a home theather room, a roof garden, a BUILT IN LIFT, a pool and last but not least, the whole house is fully surround sound fitted.

Go Figure. I have this nasty suspicion that my mother asked me to go visit the new house just to spite me. But then again, what is not mine, will never be mine no matter how hard i try to get it, right? so why bother about such things? I invited Collin along to my place. He lives just 3 bus stops away anyway. He was also blown away by how big the house is.

Jerald, BoonYong, Wilson and Weixian also came by the new house to take a look.

Back home, I finally confirmed things with my tenant and he will be moving in officially on the 11th of JAN. At least with the income from the room rent, i can let the house i am in pay for itself. These few days have really been rainning like mad hasn't it? Crazy weather.

Now to the main part of my story. In my earlier entry, i wrote about how i found out that BoonYong has been back-stabbing me behind my back repeatedly. Well, yesterday BoonYong, Jay, Wilson and Jerald came over to my place to rest after a whole night of DOTAing at SAFRA Tampines. I took the opportunity to sit them down in front of BoonYong to verify if indeed he has really said and done those things that they have told me. He initially denied doing anything at all. But after he saw that i am very serious, and infront of all his other friends, he finally admitted that he MAY have done "Some" of the things that they have accused him of.

I never mince my words, not to the people i care about and love deeply. And i told him straight in the face. "BoonYong, I am VERY dissapointed in you." I did not scold him nor did i raise my voice at him. I just said it in a soft and gentle tone. But i am also not someone who bears any grudges. I told him that whatever he has done, has already been done. And it is really up to him to think for himself if he wants to make me remove my dissapointment in him. Honestly, i am not hopeful that he will. But i believe in giving people second chances, no matter how hard or bad they have hurt me.

I have explained to him very clearly. Yes. I DO love him. Very much so. But love for another person can be shown in many other ways. I treat him as my little brother. A brother that i never had. Somehow, i don't think he even cares.

But i won't give up. Until the day i die, my heart will always be the same. I only hope that one day, Just ONE DAY, i will be able to touch him enough with my sincerity so that at least, i can actually MEAN something to him. Because now, i am not even a thought in his mind.

I really don't care what other people say. I only know ONE thing that is my greatest and most priceless possession of all. My heart.

And i am willing to give it to him. I know, this may sound so very gay to some of you out there.



And my love is platonic. I never expected him to return me any favours. Just to maybe one day, appriciate and place me in a place somewhere in his own heart. Thats all.

Because, the love i gave?



EarlGrey blogged @ 10:43 PM | archives

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