Monday 10th APR 06 11:22pm
GIVE UP?
Lately i have been very discouraged by one of the things i love the most. Aikido. I am seriously thinking of giving it up altogether. The past few months, i have been working tirelessly for my Dojo in Pasir Ris. I have tried make the place lively, I have tried to be there for any of my juniors. I have organised a gathering, i have set up a yahoogroups and taken photos. I have made it a point to come early to set up the dojo, to open the cage and bring out the mats. I have traveled to and fro the HQ in Balester road to pay fees, submit grading books, collect Gis and what not NOT for myself, but the MEMBERS of my Dojo. I even made time to coach my juniors a few of the techniques so that they will be more confident to take their grading. For the HQ side, i have tried my best to help out during grading time.
All these, i did WITHOUT pay, and sacrificing my OWN time.
In the end?
It was totally Un-Appricated
Comments like "He's just a brown gold, how can teach other people?", "Why he always never clear the mats after class ends?", "Such a newbie only, think he so senior", "Can we trust YOU with our money?" "Why no reciept for my money paid?" "It's YOUR job to write the dates for us in our Dojo cards", "Where is my Gi?", "How can you forget to take my Gi?" "you got one week, no time to take a simple Gi for me meh?"
Look. I'am NOT perfect. But at least i am trying my best. I work for the members. It's not just TALK. I have proven so by my own ACTIONS. If anyone thinks he/she/Him/Her can do a better job then me, by all means go ahead and DO it. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't just use your god-given mouths to just TALK.
I, like everyone else PAY money for my training. Even as an Assistant Leader, i have to PAY to train.
But, as much as the comments are hurtful to me, i CANNOT, in good faith just leave my instructor who has been so paitient towards me, guided me and recommended me this leadership post. There is, simply, no one else to hand over to. Besides that, i love the members of my Dojo too much. People like Jon, Isaac, Jonathan, Zax, Peijing, Peizheng, Cyrus etc etc.
But, there is only so much a person can take.
Now, i'am back at work yet i still try ways and means to turn up for training. Is it too much to just ask for this little bit of respect? Do i NOT deserve it?
Maybe all of them do not care. But at least, i know i do. Enough to put you the guys FIRST.
In the end, i end up shooting myself in the heart.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
EarlGrey.
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